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Barking and Dagenham Erkenwald Basketball Club

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Erks Brentwood Fire Report Controversy

Following our publishing of the Erks v Fire game report on 11th November 2009, we received an email from a Mr A Ball who complained about the inaccurate description of Erks forward, Robin French, in the report.

The matter was investigated and it was found that the report was accurate. Mr Robin French, the subject of the complaint, also admits that "I had a shocker n deserve it so....!".

As a result the case is now closed.

The emails are reproduced below (for your entertainment!):

Email received 11th November 2009 at 19:09

Dear Sir,

It is with regret that I must formally request that your website withdraws all reference to my client, Mr Robin French, contained within your recent "report" on the Erkenwald versus Brentwood Fire game.

Whilst my client acknowledges the fact that it was not his most productive stint in an Erkenwald vest, he wishes to draw your attention to a number of inaccuracies within the report.

  • The discomfort my client was suffering during the game was real and can be evidenced by a doctors note or an emailed testimony from any of his top 10 friends on Facebook.
  • My client disputes the allegation that he shot four airballs in two minutes in the first quarter of the game. One of them clearly clipped the rim, and one of the others was a foul. Furthermore the suggestion that he shot ten airballs and turned the ball over ten times is a malicious exaggeration designed to discredit my client in the eyes of his numerous internet followers.

In addition to a withdrawal of all reference to him within the body of the report, my client would also like to request a written apology from the author of the report.

Finally in keeping with the current practise of referring to Erkenwald players with nicknames such as "Vintage Pete" or "Hitman Lee", he wishes to be referred to as "White Lightening" or "Mr Big Shot" in future reports.

Kind regards in anticipation of a swift resolution of this matter,

Mr A Ball



The response

Dear Mr Un A Ball

In reference to your recent letter on behalf of your client Mr R French and his grievance with the report on the event of Erkenwald vs Brentwood Fire I must respond by declining your clients request and maintaining the accuracy within the report. After investigating with your clients estranged ex partner MR BIG SHOT wasn't an accurate depiction of your client more and, I quote, "more like LIMP BISCUIT" and also from his top 65356 friends on facebook "WHITE LIGHTENING" was replaced by a high number of responses were "that XXXX is more like SCRUMPY JACK"!

However the Erkenwald ownership does appreciate the contributions from the number 7 wingman it doesn't acknowledge "a doctors note" written in his own handwriting, but again as an understanding organisation we will look past this matter. The results of the tests (x-rays and mri) conducted after the game on your clients "damaged rib cage" resulted in the diagnosis of malnutrition/indigestion and a general weakness in the chest area! At first it was thought that it may have been a result of ink poisoning from the tattoo your client had done in a shack in Thailand by a Bangkok chick boy for inoccus favours. But this has since been ruled out.

The Erkenwald franchise upholds the accuracy of the report as it has video evidence to back up there claims of the events on the night in question as well as countless eye witnesses. We hope this clears the matter and we can move forward to the goal of winning a championship.

Kind Regards

Mr Justin Credible


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